We all remember the days when we were inseparable from the one we once loved. It almost seemed like life wouldn’t make any sense without their presence. But, unfortunately, we sometimes find all of these wonderful moments washed away through a break up and no matter what we do to move on, it just doesn’t work. No matter what we do, these memories constantly continue to sneak through, leaving us with one question: “How do I get over my ex?

The truth is, it’s really not as hard as we drag it out to be. We lie to ourselves instead of accepting the truth. See, we figure if we believe a lie, then it will help us get pass the feeling. We figure if we feed ourselves a story, we will grow to believe it, therefore, setting us free. “How do I get over my ex, you ask?” Easy. Accept the truth and rid yourself of all the lies!

We sometimes cloud our minds with a negative picture to escape the wonderful moments, thinking that it will rid the pain. Think about it, it’s not the action that lead to the break up that really hurts us, it’s really the wonderful times that no longer exist that make it hard for us to move on. For example, if your break up was due to infidelity, it is not the cheating that hurts you, it’s the stripping apart of a bond you once cherished that hurts.

The best way to get over your ex is by freeing yourself. How do you free yourself? I remember having a conversation in a hotel room in Palm Springs, California, with a good friend of mine and during our conversation, although I knew that I was done with my ex, I realized that I wasn’t completely over her. Lesson learned? Well, I came to realize that it’s all in the story. I realized that my feelings were based on the story I created.

Instead of blaming her for the lessons I learned, contributing to my growth, I blamed her for destroying something we invested so much time into building. See, we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive, but little do we know, that negative thoughts we store stain way more than positive thoughts, if held on to. It’s time we focus on the gain instead of keying in on the loss.

See, through every given event, is an eye opener, an opportunity for growth. Instead of focusing on what we’ve lost, why not focus the gain, what is we can take away from the situation? I’ve come to realize that anything in that past that isn’t relevant to the present, has no place. Although we are unable to edit the past, we all have the privilege of writing the script to our future. As the writer of your own story, what does your ending look like? Whatever it is, let’s just hope, just like any good movie, that you’ve thrown in that good ol ending we all look forward to.

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