Question from Joel, Hollywood, Ca
Q: “I have a question about this girl I like back home in washington state; (I’m at school for music in Hollywood). This girl I like is actually one of my buddies ex’s and I’ve known her for a few years. When I went home for break about a month ago, we were hanging out a lot and I stayed over at her house like 4 times, no sex, but went out to some bars and got a little drunk a few times. But each time I stayed over we cuddled more and were making out more, and I ended up almost having sex with her; but she apparently has some kind of a born again virgin church thing, that I really don’t think is going to matter because when I got back she texted me about how much she regrets not messing around with me and how hot for me she was. At first she was hitting me up like crazy when I got back and I even got her to send me some very sexy pictures that were pretty much nude; and she had me send her a couple basically nude pics which she said she really liked. Then we were talking back and forth (at the beginning of the quarter the first week back) about how she missed me and the things she wanted me to do to her, how she thought I was probably good in bed, how she wanted to shower with me, how she hopes I can breathe through my ears (my mouth servicing her) next time I see her, hows she thought about me when she ‘took care of herself’, and how wet she was, ect. We halfway made plans to have her fly down for thanksgiving and she was going to stay with me and we were going to “really have some fun”, and also go to some different places and how she was going to jump into my arms at the airport. I’m not very good with girls but sometimes I can pull em in, and I tried to keep things hot until she got here. Things cooled off a bit, and I’m not always sure what to say over text messaging. Then I talked to my buddy that went out with her for a couple years-(I know, this is a pretty if-y situation)- and he said she was blowing his phone up for a couple days at least, but he wasn’t interested. I gave her a break for about 2 weeks because I felt like she wanted to talk to me for some reason, so I gave her space. We’ve been texting a bit lately but she doesn’t have the same vigor as she used to-possibly due to me. I still want her to come for thanksgiving. I do like her romantically and as a person, and definitely want to make her come. I don’t really know who to talk to. This could be a good learning experience and I think if I do this right it will work the way I want.
–How do I get her warmed up again the way I did back home, get her texting me and giving me feedback(maybe some more picture too), and get her to come down here on thanksgiving??
Any advice would be VERY MUCH appreciated!”
A: It’s funny you mention this because it was a topic of discussion a couple of days ago. The truth is, the fire the phone brings is only temporary. See, talking to girl on the phone is only story telling, until every spoken word turns into action. Remember when you were young and your parents told you that you’d get this toy you really wanted only to end up with nothing? Well, after a while of receiving these empty promises, you begin to lose faith. Even if this event were to come up again, I doubt that it would still matter to you. The same goes for these constant phone conversations. At the beginning, you speak of how wonderful things were when you were together. Then, you speak of all of the things you’d like to do again, and more. After that, you speak on making it happen. Unfortunately, after constant talks of making it happen, it’s a apparent to you both, that it just ain’t happening. What does this mean for you? Well, it means that the only thing that can get the wheel to spin is an actual step towards making these prior words true. Words may sound soothing, but it remains temporary unless action is applied in making it real. At the end of the day, she lost the vigor because all the empty words that were given, faded away. One thing I always tell myself is words fade while actions stay. It’s important to always represent your words through action in order for it to remain real and true. I guess what I’m trying to say is…act!